Thursday, November 1, 2007

Living apart--Together. How does that work?

Cue the Joan Rivers question, "can we tawwwk?"

I just saw this article and I have to admit, I had no idea this was a normal thing in marriages. This is quite interesting.

Has anyone else heard of this? Are you currently in a marriage like this? I would love to have a very open discussion about this if possible. Please keep in mind, I am NOT judging anyone's situation.

Here's the article

Let me know what you think about it.

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13 comments:

Justice Fergie said...

i'm loving your new blog header!!!

i haven't read the article yet, but it sounds crazy. although...sometimes i would love to live in a separate house ;) heh heh.

Tania said...

I would like to read some other comments too, very interesting to hear about it actually working, I can't imagine though.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I think I might could do that. But then again you are talking about a 60 year old man when she started having kids, so she must be significantly younger than him. A man in his 60s is pretty well set in his ways and "safe". So it might work. I have also heard of step families that design their homes like college dorm suites, where the kids (who hate each other) only come together in the ocmmon areas, and hardly interact on a daily basis. This keeps the peace for the parents who can't live without each other.

Raquel said...

ummmm no.

Why get married again? Oh yeah, it's so you can SHARE your life with your best friend. SHARE.

Anonymous said...

This creeps me out. I know of a couple with two small children who were living apart, for work reasons. He was out-of-town for his job, she is a SAHM. He came "home" a couple of times a week - on a good week. His last visit home, he found her with another man, apparently one of many. They are now in the midst of a nasty divorce, he is seeking full custody, it's so sad.

Shelliza said...

Throughout my entire relationship/marriage, my husband travelled 90% of the time. It was difficult in the beginning but I knew that was the nature of his job. It takes a great deal of trust and tolerance.

I guess sometimes what works for one doesn't neccesarily work for the another.

deepnthought said...

For a few years growing up, my parents lived in different states for work reason. It was the worst. I mean, I loved my dad tucking me in at night. So, every other month when he didn't, it hurt.

I feel like, why get married. She also said in the article that she had nothing in common with her husband. Really now. Why get married. I don't get it.

shoeaddict said...

My husband works out of town a lot. It's been cut out a lot though because he got a huge promotion; however, he's gone right now and I tell ya, it ain't fun. Of course having him up my bootay gets a little annoying. I annoy myself at times. The fact is- I love him. The house is different without him. It's not the same. It is quieter, darker, sadder. My whole life is that way without him.

We don't have babies yet. One of the main reasons is because I don't want him to be gone all the time while I'm raising kids and he doesn't want to be away from them. I think this couple is being selfish to their children.

Marriage is so much about compromise. Luke and I don't live in a big house (at all) but, there's more than one room! When we're not liking each other, we go to different rooms.

Ok, so, I said a lot!!

Me, Myself, and I said...

Um..no. Why get married if you're going to live apart? Her life isn't altered at all in her husband's absence? That's just crazy to me. She should at least miss him when he's gone, but I don't get that impression.

There should be some type of complaint from one of them, but they don't have any, so it seems to me that neither really want to be married..or are really ready for it. Yeah, their married, but not in every sense of the word...seems kind of backwards to me.."marriage and kids are one thing, but living together..don't rush me." WHAT?

Sounds selfish to me. I don't see the reason for being married. It's one thing to have a spouse that travels a lot, so you have no choice but to accept that and deal with it accordingly, but to purposely live in separate homes is a sign that neither are ready for the marriage, because in marriage, you become closely united. Um..I don't see that in them.

It wouldn't work for me, but apparently, it's working for them. *shrugs shoulders*

Dr Thandi aka Lady Tee aka Myeoncé said...

I have a couple of friends who are in long distance marriages, not really by choice though. Their careers pull them apart.
How do you creat a link to another article or blog, within a blog

Believer said...

Marriage is hard work and the payoff is being in the company of your spouse on the regular.

When I was dating my husband, I hated when we were apart.

I don't mind a mini-vacation apart when you visit family or a business trip now and again. The break is nice, but truthfully, I need him, and more importantly, my daughter needs her daddy around.

Sheena @ Mommy Daddy Blog said...

My aunt and uncle lived apart a few times in the last few years, they kinda separated but didn't get a divorce. It was so that they could "get it together". Both times they ended up moving back in together.

As far as living separately and still "acting" married, I find that very strange! I know some people will marry in the army just to rake up the benefits together.

Anonymous said...

I think that's a brilliant idea! The idea of loving someone and having a stable, reliable relationship, but not having to look at their furniture or piles of dirty laundry, and eat what you like, when you want, intrigues me. It's like living in that wonderful place when you're dating and the other person is always new and an adventure. And no one has to give up their own sense of style and comfort when it comes to creating a habitat. Everyone takes care of themselves - one partner doesn't get stuck with the housework and the laundry! (A lot of men would be better off with a live-in maid than a wife) No one has to give up their lifestyle just to be in-love and married. In the end, if they're happy, more power to them. I admire people who aren't afraid to do what's right for them instead of bowing to convention.

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