I need some really OPEN and HONEST discussion on this one!
Let's just say YOUR child decides today and every other day since they turned 2 years old, is the day that he or she will BONK each and everyone of their friend's at playgroup.
How would you handle this? What would YOU do? What would YOU do if your child behaved this way?
Please BE OPEN and HONEST.
If you haven't figure it out. It's MY son! I'm afraid that he is turning into a bully!
I'm just at my wits end and I need help before I decide to become a hermit and keep myself and my son home and away from the world FOREVER.
I need some feedback on this one! Please give it to me. I need some guidance.
Especially if you've ever experienced this with your kids. How have you handled this type of situation?
Questions: How would you handle this situation? What would YOU do if your child behaved this way?
Please!!!!!! respond. Be as open and honest as possible. If you can't tell from the run on sentences and grammatical errors all up and through this post. I am STRESSED out! Should I call Nanny 911?
I need
13 comments:
Tanyetta! don't call nanny 911 yet- you can do this!! o.k. I have 2 year old twins and hurting other peoples bodies is not allowed. They know this- we've talked about it a lot(everytime it happens!) I remove them from the situation and they basically have a small time out. They have to sit on the stairs. After 2 mins. I ask them if they are ready to play and have fun. I ask them if they are going to hit again. I tell them they will have to sit on the stairs again if they hit. Then they have to go and say sorry to the person they have hurt. This might sound like a lot of talking and every kid is different. My boys are almost 3 and are big talkers and I know they understand. Every mom knows their child so this advice might not work for DJ. I do think removing him from the situatrion will drive home the point that he is not allowed to hit. Good luck, and remember he's not a bully yet- almost all 2 year olds hit when they are mad! "terrible two's" He could be loving the reaction he gets from you or others when he does the behavior of hitting too.
I am emotionally exhausted after most days with all that goes into teaching toddlers!!
have you tried bonking him in the head?? I'm kidding of course! you know how i feel about hitting kids...
i dunno, and i cant really tell you because aaornd oesnt hit, but if he did... I think he'd get a good scolding. He can't stand to be yelled at, so he would stop doing it right away.
try explaining about pain? like that he is hurting someone else? everyone has feelings... i dunno rationalizing doesn't work with 2 year olds, does it?
My son Caleb went through a massive HITTING and pushing phase when he was just before age two... It was really bad. I couldnt go to a play area at a mall without fear. He one time pushed this little girl off a tall step in a mall playground. She fell HARD.. I was so ashamed... thats one of those times you just want to hide.
Any how.
This is how I solved it.
Before ever entering into a public area w/ kids around.. I would explain very slowly to Caleb that if he TOUCHES, HITS, PUSHES anyone.. we are leaving and he will get a spanking (yes I highly believe in spankings as long as their explained afterwards and not done out of anger). This talk seemed to really help him. It didnt always STOP him from hitting. It was almost as if he couldnt control himself some times..
But after realizing the consequence for it.. he stopped.
He really did learn fast... and to this day no longer hits kids. He will play with me some days and we play fight.. but as far as other children getting smacked by him :-) thats OVER.
Hope that helps! Its totally normal I think though.. atleast he hisnt biting people ;-) that can get really bad!! hehe
My niece just turned 4 in January and we used to have that same problem. Any time she felt like she was not getting her way (and that didn't take much) she would push or kick or hit someone. Although I believe in spankings, that never worked for her. What I did was first have that serious talk explaining that as long as she continued hitting people she wouldn't get to have any fun and then I took away whatever she was playing with or doing when she hit the other person. IMMEDIATELY.
So if we were at the park and she hit someone, I packed up and we left right then and there (after saying sorry of course) and there was NO FUN after that. No music in the car. No cartoons at home. No ice cream. NOTHING. Just sit there and be quiet. Honestly it took her about a year or so to actually GET IT (and sometimes I still worry).
I think all children do that when they get to be 2 though. They don't really know any other way to express themselves yet. LOL
I think it all comes with the Terrible twos phase. Mine was hitting ME, not other kids and it took the longest time getting him to stop hitting. Usually, after a few warnings, I move him to a quiet place in the room and get him a good scolding. I tell him, "People are not for hitting". I haven't had this very much with him hitting other kids, since we don't do playgroups. But, I was furious when someone's child was hitting the crap out of my son at Barnes & Noble the other day!
I guess my advice is don't hit back (which I'm sure you don't do) and just be consistent with whatever scolding you do. Good luck!
Leave. Tell him before you get out of the car,at playgroup, if he does it once- you leave and come home. No lunch out, or anything special you were planning. Stick to it. And be prepared to leave immediately the first few times.
I agree with the other commentors ... Tell him exactly the behaviors that are not allowed ... leave as soon as they happen ... it will suck at first but worth it in the end!
thank you ladies! thank you. i'm reading them all. keep it coming. i'm learning sooooooo much.
I would spank him, but everyone these days is against spanking. But these days there are more rebellious kids it seems. "you can't tell me what to do" types. (not your 2 year old, mostly teenagers)
I would leave the playgroup.
No "bye-bye, huggies"
nothing, "DJ say you're sorry!! It is wrong to hit" than leave.
It's been said before, but I'll say it again. Time outs work well for us. It is important to IMMIDIATLEY grab your child right away when they hit and quickly place them on the time out spot. Don't talk to them until the minutes are up and then talk to them and make sure he understands why he is on time out. Even if you have to do it 12 times and he is upset, don't quit. Eventually he'll stop bonking. He's a cute little 2 year old and they all go through this so don't worry! Consistency is what is the most important, I think. Good luck and keep us posted!
Tanyetta,
I personally think a little aggression is a good. (My son is 6 and still let's little 3 years old push him around). The good news is you certainly won't have to worry about him NOT being able to defend himself. (A quality my son lacks).
For now, I'd just blame it on the "terrible two's" (I really would)--translation: calling Nanny 911 (is unnecessary).
If it were my son, I'd try explaining to him (and making sure that I remind him just before going) that he has to find a way to play more nicely when we go out to playgroups. (I'd definitely stress that NO form of hitting is funny or nice).
I'm sure things will work out!! Don't stress about it....and definitely don't decide to become a hermit and keep yourself and your son away from the world. :-)
Hi everyone,
I'm checking in to let you all know that I really apreciate your open and honest responses. Thank you for the tips and support.
I'm working hard to help DJ through this period in his life. Hopefully he'll STOP this soon or mommas gonna go nuts :)
He "LOVES" time outs by the way. He knows exactly what it is and he just sits in the corner and I tell him to keep an eye on the wall and make sure it doesn't move. LOL
Wish me luck :)
This made me laugh - sorry, Tanyetta. But I'm picturing it and thinking "so cute".
But one thing struck me, T. If he enjoys time-out, then it's not discipline for him. Like Dr Phil says, you have to know his currency. So maybe he enjoys being alone.
Are things going any better now?
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