UCLA= U Can’t Locate Anything (Guest Blogger, Laura V)

UCLA= U Can’t Locate Anything

Guest Blogger: Laura V.

I had a teacher in high school that joked that when she went to UCLA, she realized it stood for ‘U Can’t Locate Anything’. This has been my mantra lately. It drives me absolutely crazy when my family can’t put anything back where they found it.  Call me nuts but it kinda of goes in my common sense bin. I’m not even talking about things like Christmas ornaments, the Easter decorations or those shorts I bought 10 years ago, I get fired up over my common every day things not being where they are supposed to be. 

This takes out time in my day that I just don’t have. Here are some things I have been on the hunt for lately: My shampoo and conditioner, the lotion, my chopping knife, the baby’s hairbrush, my kitchen scissors, my stamps, many of my socks, my $50 cash back-didn’t realize I didn’t have that until I got to the store check out line and the tooth paste. I realized the problem is with boundaries…my family all of the sudden has none. This is why I could never have roommates-I don’t like people messing with my stuff. I have tolerance for the little people but not so much for the big people.

              So this is where I found some stuff… My shampoo was in my son’s room and the conditioner in my daughter’s room. My daughter (8yrs) said that she likes mine better (Nope didn’t even ask) and used it but got distracted when returning it and left it on her bed, which ended up on the floor and then the 14 month old grabbed the shampoo and must have brought it in his room and then dad said he just put it in the baby’s dresser (Um, didn’t he realize that wasn’t baby shampoo? hmmmm) The lotion was in the living room, my husband said he brought it in there to watch TV in the morning…Well Friggin put it back in the bathroom. 

The baby’s hairbrush was in the garage; my daughter and her friend took it to brush the dolls hair (Big sigh and grunt-I already bought him another but why are you touching his stuff?). My kitchen scissors were in my husbands car, he took them when he went fishing….(I thought they made special scissors for that-I don’t want them back now). 

My husband used the stamps and put them back in the hall chest thingy and forgot, so when I was asking for four days and looking all through my stuff and eventually bought another book…then he remembers that he used them and didn’t put them back where he found them.  

I found my socks, when I saw my daughter take her shoes off. I asked where she got those and she said in her drawer. When dad offered to fold clothes, he put my stuff in with hers…I also found some of my shirts, shorts, and underwear upon the drawer inspection. Well, when I took a nap yesterday, the baby got into my purse, pulled out credit cards, money and pictures. My husband put the wallet back in my purse but not the money, credit cards or pictures and then didn’t tell me either. So when I went to the store, I had to embarrassingly slide out of line and try to figure out why I had a wallet with nothing in it.

            I wish I could say these were the only times but these things have been happening ALL the time lately. I can’t help but wonder how this started. Since this started, I have tried just doing everything myself, that way I don’t have to worry about my stuff ending up in my daughter’s drawers but then I am told that it is ok to get help-just go back and fix it later. 

I tried talking to them but they say I am overreacting. I tried to micromanage but who really wants someone on their back when they are trying to do something so that doesn’t come off too well. I have tried ignoring it but then it takes extra time and effort and money. I have tried buying everyone their own stuff and while it is costly, it still doesn’t work because when they misplace theirs, they use mine and loose that. 

            I am turning into a freak. I watch everyone and make sure I know what they are bring outside, remind them to bring it back in the house and then look to see if they did or not, don’t want anyone putting away the groceries or laundry because I don’t know where anything is when I need it…… I feel like I am turning into my step mom, it is only a matter of time until we start wiping out the toilet and sink after each use or signing after each bathroom use (She doesn’t do that but joked it would be a great idea to see who was in the bathroom last).

            Whew what a vent! It seems so silly to you all, I am sure but it is eating up at me for some reason. I just enjoy knowing where things are in my house. If I am a ‘homemaker, housewife, stay at home mom’, I guess I do feel a little territorial, like my place of business should be in order but feel like I am failing at such a small task, which places strain on other things I try to do? Unable to do the art project because the scissors and glue are gone, can’t wash my hair real quick while the baby is napping because by the time I find the shampoo, he's up. 

I took a shower last night and made sure everything was in the bathroom before I started, shampoo (check), conditioner (check), wash cloth (check), soap (check), towel and robe (check-check), lotion (check), deodorant (check). I heard someone come into the bathroom while I was in the shower and being paranoid, I asked what he or she needed. It was my daughter and she just needed some cotton swabs. 

I said Ok and continued to shower. When I got out, to get my towel, it was gone and my robe. I called to see if someone could bring me a towel and nobody answered, so dripping wet, I went towards the door and could hear a man’s voice that wasn’t my husband’s so called on the cell phone and yelled into the front area-to no avail. So, peeked my head out and asked if my husband could come here and asked if he could get me a towel. 

He said yes and 20 minutes later, after I air dried, I finally got a towel (We have a small house but I guess my towel ASAP meant after he was done talking). Sooooooooo, When my daughter came in she also grabbed my robe because she didn’t want to come out of the bathroom with just a towel on because she knew the neighbor dropped by and her dad told her to bring back a towel… (He meant paper towel) but used the huge bathroom towel for a spill in family room. 

After I dried up the water puddles in my bathroom and bedroom, my husband asked why I didn’t check to see if I had everything before I got in the shower, because all my yelling for a towel was embarrassing.  (In my head: round house kick, gouging of the eyes, head bunt and why the hell didn’t my daughter use one of her three robes?)

BIG HUGE SIGH-went to bed early

Laura  

Bio:  Laura Vargas is a proud wife and mother of two. She was born and raised in Europe as an Army brat and loves to travel. When she is not planning the next family trip, she enjoys reading her fashion magazines, working out, dancing, researching economic trends, photography and surfing the net. Laura is outgoing and enjoys a good laugh and fun.