Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Dads babysitting their own kids????

Setting: A women's retreat, No kids, Just women, networking, enjoying great food, music, speakers, free gift baskets, raffles, and more!!!!!!!

What a great time. I was so excited to go. I dressed up, curled my hair and put on lipgloss. You could not tell me that I was not cute that day. The best part. I went by myself. NO KIDS! NO husband! Just me! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!

Darrin was happy for me to get out of the house. He always encourages me to GO! Get some by myself time! Thanks hon!!!

Everything is perfect, excellent, great and this happens-----

I'm sitting at a table with some really nice ladies!

Her: I really miss my son
Me: Really, aww that is so sweet. How old is he?
Her: 2
Me: Two? Wow that's really cool, my son is two also
Her: I'm not used to being away from him. I miss him. I'm with him everyday. We are never apart.
Me: *Enjoying eating my food without having to split it with a toddler or running after a toddler or well...you see where I'm going*
Her: What time is this over?
Me: It hasn't started yet! Enjoy yourself. Let's toast!
Her: I know. It's just hard to be away from him.
Me: I understand. I miss my son too. I'm with him all the time too and to be honest, I look forward to days like these for me to enjoy grown up conversations, can you pass the tray of muffins please?
Her: Silent
Me: *now of course i feel like a bad mommy for doing the happy dance for getting some time away from my hip twin!*

Another random conversation

Her: Where's your son? Is he in the childcare room?
Me: Nope! He's home with Daddy! Boys day out!!!
Her: What? He babysits?
Me: Babysits? No. He doesn't babysit.
Her: You said he's home with your son.
Me: I know. Yes, he is. He's not babysitting though. Is it really considered babysitting if a dad's keeping their own kids? *Am I missing something?*
Her: My husband would never babysit. He doesn't have the patience. He would call me every hour until I came home if I left the kids home with him.
Me: *silence* I mean really what do I say to that? The program offered free childcare and darrin said to leave DJ home. Who am I to argue with that? Of course my husband said, "see you gotta a good man" Haha. He is too funny!

Question: Does your husband keep the kids? If no, why not? I'm just curious!

18 comments:

Lissete said...

My husband always was and still is 100% daddy. Stayed with the girls, bathed them, changed diapers & all that good stuff. When that mommy is w/ her kid does she call it babysitting too???

Anonymous said...

Babysitting my A**. It's your darn kid. WOW, couldn't be me...

KJ Family said...

Thanks for commenting on my page - I don't get many comments, so I appreciate it. And don't worry - I'll be running out on that field if I have to (looking like the overprotective mom I am).
As far as the babysitting remark, I've gotten that many times from my aunts and grandmas... it's always confused and irritated me. Maybe their husbands didn't stay with their kids, but it's normal for mine to do that. I mean, they're his kids too. I thought it was more a generational thing, but I'm assuming this other mother was close to your age. Weird.

Anonymous said...

I'm of the mindset that if it is your own kid- its not babysetting. Yes my dh watches the boys and thankfully has enough sense to know to force me to go out by myself, just so I can have me time. His motto is if Mommy's happy everyone's happy so thankfully, he works very hard to keep me happy :)

D-dawg said...

Yes, my husband will keep the kids whenever and I feel lucky. And I'm with you, I love to get out and away for awhile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa-Marie said...

I'm sooo with you on both accounts! I LOVE mommy time. It doesn't mean that I love my kids any less, it just means I can be a better mommy when I get home. And I too am so thankful that my hubby does it all. He cooks he cleans he stays home with the kids, cause they are his kids too. So thankful!!!

Anonymous said...

of course he 'babysits', it's also call spending time w/your kids! and he doesnt need mommy around to do that.
i love my kids, but i dont think it's healthy if they were my 'complete world'. life is about balance! glad you got out of the house (alone) and had a good time!

Shannon Munford said...

Of course Ican't baby sit my own kids...but I guess it can feel that way sometimes. I have to admit my wife takes on the primary role of caregiver. It just worked out that way. I work a full time job and own a business. I'm not sure if she ever had that type of ambition. She was never motivated by climbing the corporate ladder of being the next Oprah. She works but her herat and her mind is with her family.

*Tanyetta* said...

thanks ladies, so glad to hear i'm not the only one enjoying by myself time. we all need it wouldn't you agree. it makes for better women, moms, wives, friends and more!

Aly Cat 121 said...

I know the feeling. I'm barely ever away from my girls and when I am it's only for a few hours at a time. I wouldn't call leavin them with my Hunny "baby sitting" it ain't like I'm payin his azz. LOL

Anonymous said...

My hubby definitely watches the little one. And it is NOT considered babysitting. In fact, he'd be offended if I said that to him. And I would do the happy dance with you! Mommy's need away time.

Nikki Neurotic said...

From the time I was 3 mos. old my dad was taking care of me fully on days that my mom worked. It was great, we still have a close relationship today because of it.

Anonymous said...

WTF? He is not babysitting if it is HIS kid!

And yes, mommies need and deserve time for themselves:)

Quiskaeya said...

Exactly what Yolanda said! My hubby says just about the same thing. Mommies do need "me time" even if it's something as simply as getting up late one morning and not having to wait on the family.

Midori said...

I hate attitudes like that! My husband always acts like he is doing me some HUGE favour when I leave Joey with him. It really irritates me because I thought the point of being parents is that you are BOTH equally responsible for the child. In Japan I think that is the norm though, Mums are basically expected to give their entire lives to their kids and there is no such thing as "mummy time" and when Dads do agree to look after the kids, it is very definitely "babysitting" and a big production. Used to drive me insane that I would have to "ask permission" to go out and do stuff whereas my husband wouldn`t give a second thought about whether I was around to look after Joey when he went out as it is just a given!

ooops.. mini-rant there. You definitely snagged a good guy though, no question about it! ;-)

As for Mummy time, it is SO important for our sanity and I know this is going to sound terrible but I am definitely a better Mum now I spend less time with Joey. I found it very hard to be with him all the time and felt bad about feeling that way because I felt like everyone around relished their mothering role so much! (Not that I don`t love my son, he is the centre of my universe but I guess we all have our ways of doing things!!!)

Midori (who is making the most of the guilt-free babysitting available at her parents house at the moment!!!)

Amanda said...

Jesus people! Babysitting your own kid? I have never understood where this came from. My husband made that comment to one of his friends once, that he had to babysit over the weekend. I asked him exactly how is it babysitting when he has 50% of your dna!!! That makes me a professional babysitter. Great post!!!
Come visit me at
http://thepeachronicles.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I think this is a really funny subject and try to test how people react to this subject of "Daddies\Mommies baby sitting?? I will say you women have done an excellent job training us men or convincing us of what the proper term is when we talk about this subject - they (men) have actually listened to something you have told them! I would say 9 out of 10 guys with or with out kids would defend the argument of the act not being called 'baby sitting' - The fact that you have men out there who really can only baby sit correcting real daddies is what gets me - This is really good! But what surprises me even more is they are budding in line to be the 1 guy who listen and knows what they are being taught - good little mice they are! I say, "I love my daughter with my entire heart and soul and make sure she knows that everyday - I enjoy every sec I have to spend with her and isn't that what it's really about ? Shouldn't the argument be directed at the Daddies who aren't there and only really spend time with their kids as if they are "baby sitting'?

I can't wait until the next time I get to baby sit - I know my wife looks forward to coming home to see what kind of trouble her two kids got themselves into - Really sometimes I think she leaves the 18 months old to "baby sit me"!

Love your children every day and ensure they know it, especially when they are bad!

Scotty Mac
Per Ardua

gapeachmom2 said...

This is a very interesting subject for me as a friend and I recently went round and round about this very thing. Her dh will not "babysit" their kids. (they have 4) Yet, my dh will watch our kids (we have 2 & 1 on the way) pretty much whenever I need him to. He even suggests that I go do something for me and leave the boys to play with him & do the daddy thing. I love it. I don't know what I would do if he had a problem keeping the boys. My friend's dh won't just let her go anywhere, let alone anywhere without the kids in tow. I think that is really sad. I offer to help her out numerous times when I can. Why is it that some dad's can just say "I will be back later" and the mother is just expected to keep the kids and all. But, yet, she almost can't go to the bathroom by herself without asking him to "watch" the kids so she can go in peace! Oh, brother!

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