What was your FIRST thought when you saw this picture?
When I saw this picture, I went back to the day I took the picture. I was waiting in line and saw this and couldn't resist on taking a picture. Now, why did I take the picture? I can't really say. I guess my first reaction was WHAT THE HECK IS SHE THINKING? Why would she have her kid on a leash?
Then I thought, well, what if I was in her shoes, would I see the need to put my kid on a leash? Is he over active? Is this really necessary?
Then, I had to think about how I feel when someone tries to tell me how to raise my kid. Not that I said anything about it to her, I just observed and tried to come up with some logical reason to put my kid on a leash. So many thoughts, So many questions.
I would like to know: What was your FIRST thought when you saw this picture? Have you or would you ever put your kid on a leash? Are they really kid leashes? Is there a technical term for them? Let's discuss.
17 comments:
This is long, but here goes...
First of all, I am neither for nor against child restraints. I am just neutral.
Second of all, we have to realize that maybe she didn't use that child restraint because she knew she was going to a coffee shop and back home. What I mean is, she is/was probably hanging out or playing outside with her child/grandchild, and decided to stop in for coffee. My first thought would be, "Take the leash off, and teach the child self-control and not to touch", thus not needing a leash in the cafe. However, I'm sure she wasn't playing at the cafe as though it was a child's gym area. She probably has him on the leash because of the rest of the days activities. KWIM?
Thirdly, the child seems to not give a crap whether he's on the leash or not. It's always the parents who have a problem with the way these child restraints "look". We seem to be worried about what our kid will look like and what others will think, when the kid, wearing the restraint, doesn't usually care. While some kids will kick and whine for you to take it off, most don't care.
Fourthly, I am not against child restraints because I think they can be useful in busy/rush areas like airports, rodeo's, fair's, etc. It gives the child freedom of movement without having to hold parents hand, while keeping them within safety.
I think they can come in handy for very young children, who do not understand the concept of "stop" or "don't touch" or "no" or "don't run". If my child is making a beeline for traffic, or about to get lost in the middle of the airport, I can see where a leash would be useful. He could still "run" but remain safely near me.
What if you have multiple children, very young? My friend has a 16 month old and a 3 month old. She uses a leash when they are in potentially dangerous areas and she would not be able to catch her 16 mth old while holding/nursing her 3 month old.
I think a 6 year old in a leash is a little old, but I do not think two or under is too old. Once they can begin to understand specific commands of safety, they can probably be taught not to run or touch, and be taught simple self-control without a leash.
So, if safety is ever in question, a child restraint/leash is an excellent option.
They are what they are. It's a leash w/harness. Although now they have the more attractive looking ones. Looks like an animal back pack and the leash is the animal's tail.
Well this was a discussion on one of the mom's groups that I am a part of. I actually thought about it when Christopher had now started walking and would walk away from me luckily he went through that stage rather quickly. Now he is usually the first one the reach out his hand and to hold mine. He doesn't stray far at all when we're in crowded places as he is like me in that aspect, he gets very nervous around huge crowds which is where the leash w/harness would come in.
What it really boils down to is a safety issue. Everyone isn't as lucky as I am and their kids sometimes refuse to hold their hands or stay in a stroller. It may look bad to some and it did to me when I first saw a woman in the mall with it but would you rather have your kid get lost? I think not.
I might add when I was considering it, I went down the Walmart aisle many times just looking at it and couldn never bring myself to buy it. My husband was completely opposed to the idea when I had mentioned it to him but he has no clue what it's like to be at the Del Mar fair or a theme park and have your kid runaway from you and you not finding him. The immediate "hole in your heart panic" that a mom feels is non existent in his body.
When my son was younger, I went to the grocery store and Christopher was running up and down the aisle in my view. I looked down to pick up something from the shelf and he was gone. I actually couldn't breathe properly as I frantically ran on the end of each aisle looking for him. It's not a nice feeling at all.
Long comment huh!
I must also add, just look at the kid in the picture, do you see how tight the leash is being pulled? I think she needs it since this kid looks like quite a handful. He probably runs away or runs far ahead of mom/grandma.
My first thought was "Damn those are short white shorts." Seriously.
I wrote about a month or so ago about leashes. I understand the point of them and there are times when one would have been much easier than hand-holding (like when I was very pregnant and physically unable to run after my toddler).
I think they have their purpose but I don't think I would like using them.
Leish and Atasha-Great comments ladies!
Eden-you're crazy! your first comment cracked me up! LOL
Seriously? My first thought was "That thing needs to be tighter. My kids would wiggle right out!"
Well. You asked.
In all honesty, I've never seen the need for one with my kids. They mind me fairly well, and the things do remind me a bit of a dog harness.
Of course, they've not yet darted out in traffic or run away at the store. I might change my mind right quick if they did.
I'm not one to criticize anyone's parenting, unless they're abusing or neglecting their children. If it takes one of those things for that woman to keep her kid in line then I'm all for it.
my first thought was "I hate those things." BUT at the same time... we use strollers for pretty much the same thing.
If her kid is anything like my kid, then I can understand why she does it. Aaron is like a flippin bolt of lightning when he's not in the stroller or cart. The feeling you get, when you can't find your kid in a department store (because they are smaller than the clothing racks) is one of pure and ultimate fear. Shit races through your head, "Omg, where did they go? Is someone going to steal them? If they steal them, what is going to happen to them. what if they trip and hurt themselves? etc..."
It's a rough feeling...
my daughter is a handful and i have used one once.. it wasn't fun, but it kept me from losing both my kids in a crush. when you have an infant and a toddler??? they come in handy!!! especially when the toddler won't do the stroller thing anymore... i may be MIA for a bit causeim having puter problems with blogger sorry...
I always thought harnesses look horrible and could never imagine using one until my oldest developed a love of running straight into the middle of the street as quickly as possible whenever I would take him outside! It scared me to death. We never did the chest harness but Safety1st has a wrist link that's an elasticized band you wrap around the toddlers wrist and then attach to yours. Its like holding hands but they have some range. I only used it in really crowded situations or when outside and in no time he learned boundaries and that he needed to stay near me while walking outside. I don't think I would think anything either way about seeing someone with a harness on a child because I don't know their situation and what danger the child might get themselves into.
Dude! I so hate those things. Now I like you try not to judge other parents. They know their stuff, I am not going to tell them their business.
However behind their back....no no no!! Taking a child's freedom and choices away stinks!!! I get there are some kids that are just wild and need to be contained but how did they become that way and are there any other alternatives.
When I was working I worked with people with Developmental disabilities and yeah we would have never been allowed to use restraints on them. It violates their rights as a person. Are our children any different?
Just my thoughts....
Back when I had my first three kids, I tied a clothesline around the oldest in downtown San Francisco. I couldn't hold two hands and push a stroller at the same time and she was a kid she couldn't trust for a second.
She ran from me once. I had to let go of the other child and the stroller and race after her. The next trip she had the clothesline (no leashes 40 plus years ago). She didn't mind a bit and I no longer had horrible visions of not moving quickly enough or have something happen to one of the others while I was trying to keep her out from under the streetcar wheels.
We didn't need it often and I didn't use it for long. She learned to walk beside me.
And yes I was glared at. I glared right back. They weren't in my shoes. I could live with the disapproval; I couldn't have lived with something happening to one of my kids that I could have prevented.
I wouldn't use one. I'm not saying it's wrong though. I'm thinking that if you go to a real real busy place where you child can easily get lost and you won't be able to hold his hand ALL the time (due to shopping or something) then I could undertand the use. Especially as I personally know of kids that dash of running as soon as they can.
Me though - no I won't use it
Yikes! First of all that woman looks like a witch... the kind with a pointy hat and broom. Leashes are for animals, not children. Watch them, nurture them, love them... don't put them on a leash! I'm sure we've all thought about it at one time, but to actually do it is another story. Gavin is a good boy and if he was getting into stuff in a Starbucks while I stood in line for coffee, then I would keep him in a stroller or bring him a toy (he loves lids--- that would work). I lose respect IMMEDIATELY when I see a mom with a kid on a leash.
P.S. I like the wrist option much better. I didn't even know they had those. Thanks for the tip!
What I find interesting is people prefer the "look" of the wrist leash, compared to the "look" of the harness" leash. They both are suiting the EXACT same purpose, and virtually functioning the EXACT same way. But, the wrist-to-wrist leash just "looks" better than the harness. Same thing in my books.
Like I said, I don't like nor dislike the leash. I don't like it probably for the way it looks, and for that shallow reason alone. And I don't dislike it because it has a great purpose in that it is helpful when safety is a concern. Some parents don't have wild or bad kids, and safety is not an issue (yet or ever). But the parents that DO have issues, let them be. I firmly believe NO PARENT would EVER CHOOSE a leash if they had a well behaved kid. It only makes sense. Why harness your child when you say, "hold my hand!" and they obey? There would be no need for the bloody leash!
I, like Atasha, went through the Wal-Mart aisle, looking at the teddy bear back-pack harness, and chose not to buy it.
I have to say, I have always hated the kid on a lease thing, but I last night in the airport during a FOUR HOUR LAYOVER (believe me there will be a long blog post about this as soon as I recover!) I was really wishing I had one!
I never had the opportunity to use a harness, but if they would have been around in my day, I would have used one. I had 3 children with the oldest one being 2 years old and it wasn't easy shopping alone...especially when the baby learned to walk.
I always had to take an extra person with me anywhere I went, so a leash would have worked well for me.
I have been reading all of your posts and have enjoyed them. I used to live in Vista near Camp Pendelton years ago when my husband was in the Marines, so your sign caught my eye in a later post. I'm sorry to hear that your husband is being deployed and will be gone. I remember my husband being gone for 18 months right before we got married and then for short bouts after he returned. I know you and your son will miss him.
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